I think I would normally try to start off a post like this writing some cliche, an attempt-at-being-insightful question about what is truly our home, blah blah blah. Granted, that's what I basically did just now, so let's just forget that ever happened. Being born and growing up in the same place for 20 years is pretty alright if I have to admit, but if I'm going to be honest, it does get pretty boring. But at the end of the day, Ohio is still my ever so beloved home and I wouldn't have wished to grow up anywhere else, despite how much I know many of us Ohioans/"Columbusites" (What are we even called anyways?) complain about how there's almost nothing to do.
I know a lot of my high school classmates might have already experienced this (or maybe not, I really can't speak for anyone else), since many of them do go to school away from home, but recently, since I'm currently studying Chinese in Taiwan for the next two months, there's been this weird feeling of truly being away from home for a very long time. You see, during the normal school year, attending a university that's only about 20 minutes away from my house, although I do not go home often, it still feels extremely comfortable as if I was never supposed to leave. The city is different from the suburbs, but I'm not afraid to leave my so-called "comfort zone" because it's still very much in my comfort zone due to the familiarity of the area. But now, being in Taiwan on a campus that while it is very beautiful, peaceful, and serene, it is such a new experience and new environment that I oftentimes am very lost in what I should be doing, how I should go about meeting people, etc. I'm honestly extremely introverted despite what some people might think, mentally shutting down when I am trying to meet new people or even just say "hello" to people I don't know. I think maybe that's why I write about this kind of stuff down because face to face, there are only a few people that I am physically able to talk about this kind of thing with. But that's not the point. I think throughout these two months, I definitely will be able to get more and more used to this new environment and acclimate (especially to the mosquitoes), but when will it feel like home?
These last few days, I've been telling myself that it'll just be a few weeks or even a few more days until I will be able to call this place my home. Am I just kidding myself? Truth be told, I think the whole concept of "home" is brilliant, actually. There's just so many countless definitions, concepts, and uses behind the word. To me and probably to so many other people, home is a place where you get to feel welcome. Whether it is someone else you meet or your own efforts to make yourself feel welcome, that's the definition I stick to. I've met so many people in this world that have made me feel at home, whether it be "home" as in somewhere physically, or "home" as in the state in which I feel very welcome to be at any place with those people. For an introvert, it's really scary to be using this definition of home when I'm too terrified of even greeting people, but I think it's all a part of growing up. I think staying home to go to college has indeed stunted my ability to become more outgoing, but I have no regrets staying near home. Instead, I know this experience will be extremely healthy and rewarding to me, despite everything that is going on.
So then, I ask myself again, when will this place be home? I'm really not quite sure yet. Sitting here at 9:43PM writing this post in a library because my roommate consistently connects and disconnects his wifi router, I don't even know when I will be able to post this. But I mean, that's all life's adventures right? That's all a part of the process of making this place, or really any place home. Going through obstacles and overcoming our own flaws will mature us all as human beings, especially when leaving your comfort zones and going to places and experiencing things that are completely new. So, this is where it begins. Wish me luck.