Survived by: Family, friends remember Josh Song after his death

by Michael Lee

On the second floor of a two-story house in Loveland, Ohio is a bedroom with a white desk. On it, a Best Buy delivery box with a reusable Ohio State coffee cup with a four-letter name etched on it: Josh.

Josh, a third-year in food science at Ohio State. Josh, who had a love for baking. Josh, who would never return to his room.

On the morning of Sept. 11, 2018, Josh Song took his own life after falling from the Lane Avenue Parking Garage. Almost six months later, Josh’s family and friends still grapple with his death, remembering who he was in the process.

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It’s in the kitchen and dining room where the Songs remember Josh spending most of his time.

He would come home from college and take over the dining room table with tubs of flour, electric mixers, among other tools and ingredients. Josh especially loved baking, Peter Song, his father, said.

“In the past three or four years for Thanksgiving dinner, it was made by him,” Peter said. “So the last Thanksgiving was very hard for us.”

Growing up, Rola Song, his mother, said Josh was crazy about baking in high school.

“He made macarons, and his friends and his friends’ families would take some orders, so I would have to help with that,” she said with a laugh.

Josh’s love for making food is what led him to study food science at Ohio State.

At Ohio State, Josh joined the Food Science and Technology Club, where he became vice president in his third year.

Kelly Deatherage, a third-year in food science and technology and current president of the Food Science Club, said she remembers meeting Josh freshman year and thinking he had a vibrant personality.

“He worked really hard and was always excited to do well in his schoolwork, was always pursuing excellence,” Deatherage said.

“None of us could really tell when that was maybe too much.”

—Kelly Deatherage, third-year in food science and technology

At first, his enthusiasm for food was a bit intimidating, with his enthusiasm for making food and food science. But as she got to know him better, she saw it was a passionate enthusiasm, and that he really cared and respected the people that he worked with.

Jennifer Nixon, a third-year in animal science and one of Josh’s closest friends, also said when she met Josh for the first time, his confidence was also intimidating.

But over time, Nixon knew for the first time they were close friends when she first took a Greyhound Bus.

“I had like 30 texts from Josh, just being like, ‘Just wanted to make sure you’re OK, just wanted to make sure you got safe on the bus, don’t talk to strangers on the bus,’” Nixon said. “I think that check-in let me know that I meant a lot to him, and it really touched me.”

Deatherage said Josh was a person she saw as always busy, and that it seemed to her that he thrived from pushing himself harder.

“None of us could really tell when that was maybe too much,” she said.

Nixon said she saw Josh acting a little differently the days before he took his own life. He was quieter when he was hanging out with his friends, and would stop by Nixon’s apartment but leave right away. She said normally, he would have stayed to hang out. Her and his other friends equated that to being busy.

The week of Sept. 10, Deatherage said Josh was busy with the first meeting of the Bakery Science Club — a club Josh started himself. He was also organizing a fundraiser for the Food Science Club, baking over 200 cookies for a fundraiser, on top of midterms and lab reports due in the upcoming weeks.

But when Tuesday came, none of that mattered.

Peter was in Japan while on a business trip, and saw that someone with a 614 area code was calling him. He ignored it. They called again. He picked it up.

“They told me, ‘Your child is in the hospital, and you need to come back,’ and so I explained, ‘I’m in Japan can you tell me what happened?’” he said. “They said, ‘No, you need to be here.’”

He called his cousin, and then his wife.

Rola was eating breakfast, preparing to go to her weekly bible study fellowship for a leadership meeting, when Peter called her and told her to check her cell phone since she typically puts it on silent at night.

She had received a message from a social worker at the university to call the school as soon as possible. She was told the same as Peter: Her child was in the hospital, that it was Josh, and they wouldn’t tell her what happened.

“She asked me, ‘How soon will you come?’ I said, ‘I am in Cincinnati, one and a half hours,’” Rola said. “She said, ‘Just come as soon as possible.’”

Nixon woke up that morning for class at 9 a.m., and saw that she received a text from Josh.

“It essentially said, ‘I’m sorry, continue making art, you’re going to do great things,’” she said. “That scared me.”

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Peter still sometimes goes to Josh’s room. There, he cries. For Rola, when her mind is focused on something, she doesn’t think about what happened. But once there’s nothing else occupying her mind, she thinks about Josh, and she cries.

After Josh died, the Songs received support from family and friends, receiving gifts during the holidays and money towards the funeral and memorial service.

But instead of using the money, Peter said he took it and the remaining money he had saved for the rest of Josh’s tuition to create the Joshua Song Fund for Career Explanation, a fund that would go to the Department of Food Science and Technology.

To memorialize Josh, Food Science Club members held a bake sale in October and raised around $1,000 to go towards a bench that is intended to go in the lobby of the Parker Food Science and Technology building.

They’ve also left his position as vice president open.

“Very few people kind of had the kind of spark and passion, and kind of that shameless strive to push us all to do the best that we could and move forward and work hard and not rest or be content with less than our best,” Deatherage said.

“We know he is in God’s lair to be with Jesus. So this is our assurance.”

—Rola Song, mother of Josh Song

Moving forward, for Nixon and Deatherage, they will always remember Josh as someone who loved baking, who was caring and who inspired them to do better.

For Peter, he will always see Josh as his sweet son. The last text Peter received from Josh was when he was in China, when Josh was at home looking for something.

“He texted me back, ‘Daddy, it’s too late, you don’t need to work so hard, you should go to sleep,’ so even a few words, it’s very touching,” he said.

But for Rola, through her faith, Josh is still alive.

“We know he is in God’s lair to be with Jesus,” she said. “So this is our assurance.”

Note: The story was intended for Ohio State’s student newspaper, The Lantern, but was not published due to respecting the family’s wish that the story have any focus on his death or that it was officially ruled a suicide according to the coroner’s report. However, all information reported was on the record.